you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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