paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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