Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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