i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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