This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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