I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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