my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
