Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
