I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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