There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
