So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
