I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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