when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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