Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
