Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
