1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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