They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
if only i could text you this smell
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
