If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize