I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So much Jack, so little girl.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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