laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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