you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
