Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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