i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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