wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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