Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
