I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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