is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
