actually, I'm a sock model
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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