NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
