just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
