you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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