yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize