I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
