Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
