You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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