Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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