Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
