Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
