I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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