Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
