I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
