the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
