I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
