i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
