Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
