when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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