sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
