Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
