i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
