Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
