he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
