Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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