Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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