If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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