Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
3pm strippers are depressing
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
