Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
