He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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